Nonsense: Zero-Waste, Dustainable, Carbon Bio, Renewable, Organic

Nonsense: Zero-Waste, Sustainable, Carbon Neutral, Bio, Renewable, Organic, …

Every time I see “green” marketing, I have to roll my eyes so hard I might just see my brain. Especially when these so-called “eco-friendly” products are wrapped in layers of plastic, shipped in (perhaps) electric cars with batteries that are anything but green, and eventually end up in a landfill anyway. It’s like putting a bow on a pile of garbage and calling it a gift.

You know what? My website is eco-friendly!

  • It’s zero-waste, you can’t throw it in the trash even if you tried.
  • It’s sustainable, no trees were harmed, no fish were inconvenienced.
  • It’s carbon neutral, well… except for the part where I breathe.
  • It’s bio, because I ate a bio salad while designing it.
  • It’s renewable, thanks to regular updates.
  • It’s organic, it grew from my very own skills.
  • It’s energy-efficient, optimised for performance.
  • It’s ethical, if sarcasm and criticism are your cup of tea.
  • It’s definitely water-saving, I promise it won’t make you thirsty.
  • It’s climate positive, your computer won’t burst into flames while visiting.

Alright, let’s get serious and talk about batteries

Batteries’ Environmental Impact on Soil and Water

  • Soil Degradation: Mining for lithium and other metals is leading to soil erosion and contamination. The chemicals used in the extraction process are leaching into the soil, affecting its quality and fertility.
  • Water Usage: Lithium extraction is water-intensive. For example, extracting one ton of lithium requires up to 500,000 gallons (1,893,000 litres) of water. This is depleting local water resources, affecting both ecosystems and communities.
  • Water Pollution: Improper disposal of lithium batteries is leading to lithium and other toxic substances leaching into water sources. This is harming aquatic life and contaminating drinking water supplies.
  • Biodiversity Loss: The environmental disruption caused by mining is leading to habitat destruction and loss of biodiversity.
  • Air Pollution: The extraction and processing of battery materials is releasing harmful pollutants into the air, contributing to air quality issues.

Truly eco-friendly

Keeping this article fresh, positive, and happy, we’ll never clean our Earth. Political leaders are zipping around in private jets for trips shorter than a coffee break, Elon Musk is blasting rockets into space that spew more pollution than a fleet of planes, and we’re still wrapping our food in enough plastic to mummify a small country.

But hey, at least we’re sipping our overpriced lattes through soggy paper straws, right? Let’s keep patting ourselves on the back for being ‘eco-friendly’ while we dig ourselves a nice, cosy cave to live in and be truly eco-friendly.